To start off today, I would like to link you to a small blurb I found on the website Greenopolis, a site that people from all over the world can post and share ideas about environmentalism. This one post struck me when I saw the caption: “Spiritual Solutions #22: Listen to your Inner Voice.“ http://greenopolis.com/goblog/anniebbond/spiritual-solutions-22-listen-your-inner-voice-0
I want to find my true inner voice, be able to stand up for myself against myself, and be a more confident person overall. I recently had a small falling-out with my friend, let’s call her Diane. I went out to a club and got fairly intoxicated and embarrassed myself more than I should have. At first we were having fun, but then the situation developed to uncomfortable. The next day I told her I needed some space. She thought it was out of nowhere and asked what she did. I didn’t have an answer. So she told me to take a day to think about it. I did.
What I came up with is that I am overall uncomfortable with who I am. I can’t lead when I need to, I can’t speak my mind when it is necessary; this was all because of my insecurities with who I am. I thought she got uncomfortable with me because I am a guy and she is girl. Diane is closer to me than most people I have ever known, and sometimes I have to remember that she isn’t a guy. It’s just that sometimes it is easier to think of her as in a relationship with me. She is one of my housemates, and so living with her makes it no easier. Needless to say, the objective from my last blog was not fulfilled. I made my house uncomfortable for about two days. So I talked it over with her and we’re fine now, but I found out I would like to change. I want to gain the confidence I need to in order to change the variables in my life that make me an insecure individual. Before I start anything with this blog’s main objective, I need to fix that about myself first. I need to quiet my inner voice’s hold on me.
So, step 1: find out exactly who I am and who I want to be. This will be no easy feat, and there will be some casualties (ie, my social life may suffer a serious blow to the head), but I will start with this. When I know who I am, maybe then I can walk taller and with more confidence. Maybe I should consider working out.. Don’t fit people seem to exude confidence? I think so at least, that should count. So that is step 2 (or co-step, or something): try going to the gym once a week (gotta start somewhere!).
I found a quote a while ago from Joan Rivers. It goes: “You have to face the truth. Just say it and get it out of the way, and stop sugar coating it.” I’m not quite at that level yet, but someday I hope to have the confidence to say what I need to. But I think I’ll start small. Until next time, I encourage everyone to find out something about themselves they didn’t know before. I hope to as well.
C
PS: I watched pretty much the entire season of Parks and Recreation with Amy Poehler (I don’t know blog rules all that well, hopefully I don’t get sued for this.. or something..) but it is frickin’ hilarious! Watch it if you need a pick me up! I didn’t do any school work this weekend, but I had a great time. Oh, and I played the Sims 3. I love them too.
PPS: I also went and saw No String Attached today and it was surprisingly good! Not as predictable as I thought, and it was funny. I definitely recommend it. Also, I think I want to marry Natalie Portman.
